Severed Hope
by Darkend-Faith1
Summary: somethings wrong with buffy, maybe its just her! ch2 added! Its not what you think! spoilers up to dead things r+r
1. Default Chapter

Author: Darkend_Faith  
  
Rating: PG, I guess it'll probably get worse  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them well duh!  
  
Severed Hope  
  
She'd been back now, back for weeks and still felt like home was on the horizon. But so completely gone. Hopeless. She'd been severed. Severed from her heart, her soul, and this world. She was lost.  
  
Buffy was on patrol again hoping spike wouldn't show himself tonight. She was restless. Again. After Xander had summoned that lame singing demon, everyone had assumed she was all right. But really, she was doing exactly what she'd been doing since highschool. Pretending, pretending to live. She didn't know how to live anymore. Even her little sister was living it up. But Buffy was spiraling and Spike wasn't even the bottom. She was afraid of what would be.  
  
"Hey slayer." Drawled the bleach blonde vampire.  
  
Buffy jumped. "Get lost spike." Was her not so subtle reply.  
  
"Ready for a little rough and tumble?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well there's a fledge right infront of you slayer. Losing your touch"  
  
As he uttered his last word, the vamp had been dust.  
  
"Spike I really don't need this right now." Said the emotionless slayer.  
  
"Well then pound me, get it out, I can take you!" he said with his blunt charm.  
  
She swung he ducked. And they began to play. Kick. Flip. Swing duck. She was nothing but the fight her only felling hatred her only thought, kill. It sang in her veins, a primal force bent on destruction and fury. Extinguish the darkness it purred and she would comply willingly. *Whack* He hit her, Spike hit her hard, a roundhouse kick right to her cranium. It hurt he was causing her pain. She looked like a deer in headlights, and did the only thing she could. She ran. She weaved in between the graves, up and down streets, through her door up the stairs and into her room. Her heart was pounding in her chest. How had Spike gotten through her defenses? She asked herself she was a much better fighter it was... a mistake. She was just tired. Rest she needed a nice long sleep. She couldn't remember the last time she had. She got under the covers she didn't bother with clothes and promptly fell asleep.  
  
"Holtz." Said the demon that had called the 17^th century man to hunt Angelus. "Our plan is in affect it should be here soon."  
  
"Excellent just the right kind of motivation, you see is all that is needed."  
  
Buffy was wandering, wandering through an alley. How had she gotten here? It was raining yet she was not getting wet. There were people up ahead. A familiar man was kneeling on the ground next to an obviously pregnant woman she was somehow familiar aswell. A meek looking girl stood behind them she didn't recognize her at all though. Buffy looked closer worry etched over their features. The woman on the ground was moaning in pain. Maybe in labor? The man was holding her hand and the she burst into dust leaving a tiny child on the cold bare asphalt. The picture became clearer the edges sharper. And then she realized what she'd just seen Angel was holding the baby and the woman had been... Darla... was supplied instantly to her question. But how that of been Darla she'd seen her staked almost six years ago to the day. She looked once more at the seen with confusion until she was swept away into another sleepless dream.  
  
Angel couldn't get enough of his tiny son, rocking him gently on the bed. They were presently at the newly barricaded Hyperion Hotel. Angel was deep in thought when Cordelia came in. He had been thinking about how little Connor would let him hold. Whenever placed in Fang Gang member's arms he would immediately start to cry and squirm. " Hey Angel. Whats the what with him." She said pointing at the baby.  
  
"He's fine Cordelia, just the same as the last two minutes ago." Angel answered a little impatiently.  
  
"I was just worried Angel. He's a little... weird ya know."  
  
"Because he won't let anyone touch him you mean?"  
  
"Well duh!" she stated exaspretly. He remembered what the host had said about this very subject. That the baby was probably just missing his mother. A problem Angel couldn't solve, as Darla was currently dust.  
  
"Angel, what if Holtz comes after us, what are we going to do?" Cordy asked tentatively.  
  
"Help him that's all we can do."  
  
It was dark, that's all buffy could figure from her vantagepoint of a... wall. Great I wonder what this ride has in store. She thought cynically. Then she saw him; Angel walked into the room his eyes dark. Despair etched in his features. She wanted to know what was wrong, why he was obviously so hurt. But she couldn't could she? No he had left her it wasn't her job to comfort him anymore. Wow, his depressed state was sure contagious. Then the demon with most pure un-adultered hatred toward the slayer herself stepped out of the shadows. And the rest was blur of barely repressed memories. She watched as Angel had his epiphany. Then she was swept away again.  
  
"I-I don't know whats going on I told you!" said Dawn exasperatedly.  
  
For she had been repeating this phrase for the last hour.  
  
"Dawny we just wanna help her out, there's something wrong and you know something about it." Said Willow as nicely as possible - as Dawn was still mad at her.  
  
"I know but I-I its not my secret to tell and it won't hurt anybody I swear."  
  
It was dark. Again. She could barely hear a fight in the background.  
  
She felt him here helpless like herself, and with the new knowledge that HE couldn't protect her, she truly felt lost. And in that instant her soul shattered, heart crumbled, she had broken the bond with Angel, Buffy was dying, and she knew when she awoke. She would be on the hunt. And become what she truly was. 


	2. Slipping

Slipping  
  
  
  
Willow was worried about Buffy. They all were. There slayer was always out patrolling, taking her calling to seriously. She worked during the day and she worked during the night. She was a machine, doing what had been programmed into her. Willow sat staring out the window waiting for her friend to grace them with her presence. She gazed at the clock for what must have been the millionth time. Buffy was going to be late for work if she didn't get a move on. Dawn was at school, Xander was at work, Anya was at the magic box, Spike was at his crypt, and Tara was probably in her earth science class right about now. It was funny willow mused to herself, that a person can be in your life, your heart your blood. And then one minute be gone. Vanish without a trace from your existence as if they'd never been there. She looked at the clock again, it was twelve thirty, Buffy's boss would be pissed if she were late. Again. "Buffy, time for work!" called Willow. "Buffy! Wake up!" The slayer was conveniently not coming down the stairs. Willow padded up to Buffy's room. She knocked softly on the door. "Time to get up sleepy head." Willow whispered. She entered her room. She went to shake Buffy's shoulder when. Buffy jumped out of bed caught Willow by the throat and pushed her against the wall. "Buffy what are you doing?" Willow asked in a strangled voice. The slayer squinted at the ex-witch. "Willow? Sorry you caught me by surprise." She immediately let go of her friend. "What did you want wills?" Asked an obviously confused slayer. "Buffy your already late for work. Don't you think you should get going?" "Actually, I don't think I'll go today." Buffy replied with and amused but tired smirk. "Yeah you should probably get some rest I guess." Willow said in a timid voice. "Okay great I'm going to get a little more shut eye." With that Buffy pushed Willow out the door and returned to her bed. "That was slightly weird." Spoke a confused Willow as she wandered back downstairs.  
  
Buffy awoke just as the sun was setting. She felt strangely…. Freed. Like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Buffy stretched languidly. Moving as gracefully as a jungle cat. She walked over to her closet and opened the doors for supplies. But today what she would usually take with her out to the bronze like stakes and crosses she ignored. She picked out some of her older clothes. What she had use to wear in high school and put them on the bed. She was becoming more restless every minute the sun slipped away into night. Into the dark where she hunted and killed. Where she stalked and mated, feed and played. She waited as the sun slipped into her home. The darkness.  
  
Willow was at the bronze with the gang, even Dawn had been allowed to come. Everyone was chatting and joking except for Willow. She was still thinking about there conversation this morning. Dawn had said it wasn't her secret to tell. What secret was Buffy hiding from them? What was so important she couldn't tell her best friend? Willow sighed in frustration. Why did things always seem so complicated? Their little band of do-gooders was always in some sort of mess. Maybe I'm just grumpy dismissed willow. She decided to join her family in the evening's fun.  
  
Buffy walked into the bronze with a sense of confidence around her. She had left all her old ambitions at the door and felt as if she could do anything in the world. And we she said anything she meant anything. The people of the bronze either gaped or gazed at her as she entered. Wearing tight black leather pants, red stiletto heels and a tight sleeveless v-neck hater top. She ruled the crowd. She walked past her gaping friend's table and stepped onto the dance floor. She began to dance for every male in the room. A slow sensual dance. She didn't fell embaressed about it as most people would. She felt at home. Like this was one of her nightly routines. To play with peoples minds and hearts just because…. She wanted to. A crowd of men suddenly came up to start the dance aswell; they surrounded her in a mist of her own power. But really, she was surrounding them. Filling their senses full of her sent her look her movements. How inferior on a primal scale they were to her. But they didn't challenge her or run because of it. No they inched closer, closer to there new found queen. She continued her mating dance. Unseen were the males that were prattle licking her boots. She continued, feeling the blood in her veins begin to boil. Begin to fizzle and sizzle until she couldn't stand it any longer. She grabbed the obvious alpha male and pulled him out side. Much to the dismay of the others. She was highly attracted to this man, with the dark blue eyes almost black hair and the innocence that surrounded all humans who didn't see the truth of the world they were living in. She pulled him hard against the wall grinding him into frenzy. She kissed him as he tore at both their clothes. Demanding that he be allowed to enter her. They came together amongst passion desire and above all her want, her want to be with another human just because she could. They finally commenced what could only be called mating and gathered their clothes. "Hey umm… wanna come back to my place?" The guy muttered breathlessly. But before he could utter, another sound Buffy grabbed his neck, in almost a tender way. She placed he other hand at the base of his throat. And with a quick tug snapped his neck. She felt a little concern for what she'd just done, she realized she'd just taken a life she was supposed to protect. But didn't really care. She was bored now anyway and started back towards the bronze. She slipped unseen into her newfound darkness.  
  
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A/N: please review even if you hated or I will not continue! Repeat not continue!  
  
That is all. 


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